flashfic_hub | File Under I - Documents challenge

Title: File Under 'I' for Annoying
Author: james
Rating: G
Pairing: none
Disclaimer: not mine, no profit made
Warnings: none
Spoilers: none; set vaguely in early S1
Summary: for the 'Documents' challenge. Don't mess with the secretary.

Tosh looked up in surprise as Owen came into the Hub. He'd been telling everyone within earshot for days about his long weekend and how he wouldn't be setting foot within a mile of the Hub, even if the entire planet was on fire and aliens had kidnapped the Queen.

She watched as he came down towards her workstation, then moved past to sit at the spare computer station. The program on her own screens continued to compile without her attention as she watched Owen.

He didn't look particularly happy, and for a moment Tosh wondered if perhaps the planet was on fire and the alarms simply hadn't gone off yet. With a distinctly annoyed sigh, Owen switched on the computer in front of him and pulled out a sheaf of paper from the folder he'd had in his hand.

"Owen."

He ignored her, glaring instead at the screen. She knew he wasn't waiting for it to boot up -- Torchwood Three computers had a boot-up time of five milliseconds, and that was only because she hadn't had a chance yet to fix the procedure.

"Owen. Is something wrong?"

It was, of course, a stupidly obvious question -- but it was Owen's own fault for coming into work when he'd clearly had plans to be somewhere with alcohol and girls.

"Owen--"

He glared over at her. "Yes," he snapped. "Something is wrong. What is wrong is that I am supposed to be in London right now, enjoying some hard-earned holiday and spending far too much money on booze and concert tickets."

She waited as he fell silent, then asked, "So why...?" She gestured at him, sitting at the workstation.

His glare faded, his expression turning into a sulk. Tosh had to stifle a giggle; wouldn't do to laugh yet, or she'd never get it out of him. Finally Owen said, "I can't go until my reports are in order."

Tosh blinked. "I'm sorry?"

"I said, I can't go until my reports are in order."

Shaking her head, Tosh said, "That doesn't make sense. Jack himself said you should take this time off; he stood there and agreed that even if the world was ending you could finish your holiday."

"Seems no one told Teaboy."

"Ianto? He's making you do your reports...." She thought about it briefly. "From last week's invasion? That hardly took us an hour, and they apologised when Jack explained they were invading the wrong planet. Why would Ianto need--"

"Not those."

Tosh waited, but Owen had gone back to sulking at the computer screen. Well, then, the most recent important incident they'd had was last month, when the Royal Ambergine Chalice had fallen through the Rift. She opened her mouth to ask.

"Not those either." Owen sighed again and spun his chair towards her. "My concert tickets got cancelled and my purchase was charitibly refunded to the National Library of Wales to support their rare books acquisition." Owen made a face. "And my hotel room was cancelled, and the keys to my car were stolen -- and there was a note hanging on the hook in their place." He held out a piece of paper. Tosh took it, and read.

Owen,

I am glad to hear you have decided to use your time off wisely, instead of frittering it away on pointless and juvenile pursuits. Below is the list of missing reports from 2004 through 2006; while I would not expect you to complete all of them in a mere three days' time, I will consider significant progress towards such to be a show of faith towards reclaiming your car keys and coffee privileges.

Ianto

Tosh looked at the list of reports, half-expecting to see half a dozen or so. Her eyes widened as she realised the list had been printed in a size six font, in three columns -- and extended onto the back of the page.

She gave it back to Owen. "So, did you finish any of your reports from those years?" she asked, suddenly feeling absolutely no sympathy at all for his lost holiday.

Owen ignored her, and began typing.

With a smile, Tosh turned back to her own work. After a moment, she quickly double-checked that her automatic backups were still working properly, and that her reports from Friday had actually reached Ianto's inbox.

Then she thought about going to get a cup of coffee, and letting it sit on her desk where Owen could smell it.